Movie Review XX

by zenquaker

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Jack Sparrow (excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow) is pressed into seeking the fountain of youth with his old adversary Barbossa. Alas and alack, they soon find they are not the only ones on the tail of Ponce de Leon’s folly. Not only do they have to contend with a Spanish fleet, but Blackbeard and his bewitched ship are headed for the fountain as well.

You gotta love Jack Sparrow. He’s a great character. Unfortunately you cannot make a great movie with just a great character. Now, when the plot gets out of the way and just lets Sparrow go, it’s a good movie. I especially liked the sequence where he escapes from the audience with King George [+]. But then you turn around and the plot is still there. My first problem is that it’s not a pirate movie, it’s an action movie with pirates for window dressing. I suppose that could be forgiven if it wasn’t such a bad action movie. The “ritual” they have to go through to is totally contrived just so Sparrow can pull a bit of sleight of hand at the end (a move so telegraphed that telling you about it doesn’t count as a spoiler) [-]. I mean, why do you need Ponce de Leon’s cups? Whose cups did Ponce de Leon need? And what the hell do mermaids have to do with the fountain of youth? And while Sparrow’s escape from the king is good, and his fight with his imposter isn’t that bad, the rest of the scenes in the movie can be split between those supporting the contrivances of the plot and irrelevant filler in between the other ones [-].

Final Rating: 3/10

Best Quote: “I understand everything … except that wig.” -Jack Sparrow

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