Omen of the Week
The inaugural week of the Omen of the Week was a good one. It was hard to choose, what with California declaring that Coke and Pepsi cause cancer, and a secret meth lab being found in a nursing home. However, the winner for this week’s Sign of the Coming Apocalypse is a grocery cart that follows you around the store. That’s right, America, you no longer even have to push that wheeled cart carrying all the food you will later be obesitizing yourself with! Really, with all the work you put into eating those 12 hamburgers, is it really fair for the grocery store to expect you to waste those precious calories using something as outdated as the wheel? Of course, this will be premiering at Whole Foods, so that would be 12 free range hamburgers.